Today was my day off, so I decided to head downtown to get my haircut. (Before you get all excited, it was a $20 haircut. I can’t afford no salon!)

Anyway, afterwards, I decided to head up to Times Square to hang out and read a book, since it’s a nice day. On the way, though, I managed to bite through the cold sore on my bottom lip. I stopped in to Walgreens (edit: It was Duane Reade) to get a recommendation.

The pharmacist recommended that I put Anbesol Cold Sore Ointment on it to relieve the pain and keep it moisturized. No neosporin since it’s on the lip and wouldn’t do much good anyway.

Ok, good advice. The technician checked me out, and I asked if she had a pair of scissors I could borrow to open the tube. (It’s the kind you have to cut off the tip, not just poke through foil.)

“No,” she said. I replied, “You don’t have scissors in a pharmacy?” She then told me thay were’nt allowed to let customers use them. It’s a stupid liability rule, but ok. I then asked if she would cut it open for me.

She refused again, saying it wouldn’t be sterile. “Well, anything I use to cut it wouldn’t be sterile, right?” I asked. “I mean, this isn’t a hospital clean room.”

Well, she obviously didn’t feel like dealing with me, because she handed me off to the pharmacist, who basically repeated everything she had said. I was getting annoyed at this point, so I said, “Look, I work in a pharmacy. I know you have alcohol. Rub the freaking scissors with it and cut open the tube before I open it with my teeth!”

He finally, reluctantly, agreed. I mean, come on, there’s a difference between protecting your patients and protecting your own rear end.

Edit: By the way, this post was written and posted in the Times Square Visitor’s Center. How cool is that.